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Tuesday, November 20, 2012

On the couch with Mr. Black...

 This is my NANO (national novel writing month) so grammar is on the back burner more so then ever.  I am checking spelling but that does not mean I won't miss something... read if you want and enjoy if you can...       
Journal Entry Forty Seven A:

Classes are getting harder and I am trying to get my OWL done. I am stressed out of my mind. I do not know if I can keep doing this. If I am even capable.

I think I am loosing it again.

I need cookies and chocolate and coffee and cuddles by the fireplace. 

NO! TOAST WITH BUTTER AND COCO!!! That is what I want, toast with butter and hot coco.

But I will never get it never... never never never.....


Journal Entry Forty Seven B:

Okay, who took over Sirius' body because the boy I just sat and cried over a cup of hot coco with could not have been the same boy who would throw exploding snaps at my feet in Transfiguration. No, it could not be the same boy who would laugh at me when my mail exploded in my hands because he slipped in a firecracker. It is impossible that he was the same boy who traded my shampoo so my hair was blue for a whole month in my third year. No could not be him. Had to be a doppelganger.

I completely lost it. I headed out to find some hot chocolate and a couple of pieces of toast, because toast with honey is just divine when you are blue. And ran into Sirius who was heading back to his bed with a few snacks of his own. He started to make a flippant comment, I don't even remember how it was suppose to go because I was so upset about things, but he stopped mid-sentence as he saw my face. He placed his hand on my shoulder and I crumpled. The physical weight of how I was feeling just landed on me and I crumpled to the floor.

I don't know how he managed it but he got me to the couch and got coco and toast with honey. He just sat with me there and let me cry. I don't know if I actually told him what was going on and right now I am not sure if I care. But he just held me and I fell asleep. Out cold on the couch with Sirius Black. Yeah I know, not front page news but for me it was a big deal. When I woke up he was still there. He had not left to go to bed, he was sleeping next to me just holding me. Not my first choice but I probably would have remembered what I said to Remus I probably would have babbled about things that would have been really embarrassing if it had been Remus and James would have gone and gotten Lily or Ms. Nicci. (Though how a Gryffindor would have gotten into the Slytherin common room in the middle of the night is beyond me.)

It was still dark out not dawn but not midnight time frame. I got him to go up to bed and I did too. Morning classes are going to come way to early. I should try and sleep now. It might be a good idea.

Journal Entry Forty Eight:

Classes are going to be hard this time around. I do not know if I can complete anything. I am feeling so at the end of my rope.

I just do not know what to do. Life should not be this hard. I want to complete all things. GAH!!!!
Okay, I need to get a grip and focus. Take things one step at a time that is all I can do.

James and I are working on the potion tonight because Remus, well, it is a full moon. So that means Sirius and Peter will be with him.

I told James that he didn't have to come and sit with me. He just shrugged and said that it wasn't a problem and that with a spell like this there should be two people there at all times.

I think maybe I talked a little bit more than I thought I did to Sirius but right now I am not complaining.

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