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Friday, November 2, 2012

The first fall days....

This is my NANO (national novel writing month) so grammar is on the back burner more so then ever.  I am checking spelling but that does not mean I won't miss something... read if you want and enjoy if you can...  

Journal Entry Two:

Well first day of classes down. Fun and crazy all at the same time. 

Looking over what is offered. I am always excited about Potions. I feel I am pretty good at it but I don't know if I will be able to complete an assignment this time. I generally don't do a lot of silliness in my life. Though when I am without coffee or a lot of sleep, I might have a touch of the sillies.

History of Magic looks intriguing to me though. I always loved plays and acting. I am a bit shy to get up on stage though, so maybe something for the set. I will have to look into that.

I love wand lore and have though about becoming a wand maker after I leave Hogwarts so the fact that we are studying it in Herbology is so cool and I love Herbology. Love it.

Now I do have to say I am impressed with the weather charm our Professors put in the Charms class room. But I am from Michigan, it's weather rivals England's, so coming up with something should be a piece of cake. Maybe...

I, however, I know my first class probably will be Ancient Runes. I don't know why but I am loving this class. I normally don't work with runes but I do love Norse Mythology, though they aren't my patron deities. I have a plan and it will be spectacular.

Journal Entry Three:

It has been a couple of days, I know. But I have been really busy with classes and getting things ready to go. I also have completed my first class. I knew it would be Ancient Runes. I know my Norse Mythology and I know they call their Bifrost a rainbow bridge. The Bifrost being the bridge between Midgard, the realm of Earth, and Asgard, the realm of the gods. So I created a bridge... a rainbow bridge, with a long draw method of dyeing.

Journal Entry Four A:

I have been working on my Detention. Siruis is worried that I am focusing too much on it and not on new classes. Remus told him that he is worrying too much and that I needed to stay relaxed and if I focused on one thing at a time it was good for me.

All the boys know that I feel ashamed that I wasn't able to finish it last year. My Gray Wrapped Wings, my swirl sweater. I just was so overwhelmed with everything. And the curse seemed to take all I had to fight against. I will not let that happen again. 

 I got that much done. I will finish it! I know I can. I am strong enough to do this, to show myself that I can and will win against my own darker self.

Journal Entry Four B:

The troupe is trying it's hardest to cheer me up. Including making a mess of my yarn. I am trying hard not to be mad at them. But right now it is very hard.

Dumbles and Snapers are not leaving my side. Where ever I go they go. Always in my bag, dooking at me instructions and insight. I hope they are right that I am strong enough to be a good witch. Sometimes I wonder. I wonder if I am strong enough. I know I can do this. I know I can find who cursed me and why.

That is the reason I will find a way to complete all of the Defense Against The Dark Arts assignments. I will hunt down this person or thing that cursed me.

Remus is concerned for me. He thinks that I am taking a path of vengeance that is unhealthy. That no go will come of what I am doing. I can't say he isn't right. I know it is a dark road. I know that what I might do at the end of it might create something I can't undo. But I can not just sit around and let who ever did this to me get away with it. I lost something last year. I lost my sense of self. I am trying to claim it back. The only way I will be able to do that is to figure out who did that to me and why. I do not like not know.

It makes me laugh thinking about it. The truth is I like knowing other peoples business. I like knowing when people do their laundry, what they had for breakfast, if it took them forever to tie their shoelaces, and if they just bought these wonderful new shoes with pink stripes. I like knowing all of that. So when I don't know something about myself and my own life. It is detrimental. It eats away at me, making me crazy.

Maybe that is it. I am going crazy and this is the first step.

The boys are checking up on me a lot, probably encouraged by Dumbles and Snapers. Okay, probably not Snapers, he doesn't like them that much. I just know they are part of my rock, part of what is keeping me sane.

But, then I have a dilemma. I put them in danger last year. My shade self tried to hurt them. She tried to make them doubt what they were doing. Doubt their friendship with me. I don't know if I could survive without their friendships. Them, my dorm mates and my friends back home. The troupe is the only other thing that really gets me out of bed. Sherman pokes my face with his nose and whiskers. Snitchet nibbles my toes. (I swear one of these days I am going to kick her across the room) They all are apart of my stability. Like the boys, the curse took its toll on my ferrets too. Rowin and Snitchet had run ins with dye cauldrons. They became a little more blue then they were before. Rowin was lucky, she only got her feet. Snitchet, not so much. She felt in completely and turned and interesting shade of green. (Blue mixed with a honey golden fur makes green, trust me on that) I can not let anything harm them, again. I will not let that happen. And if it does. Well, I will accept the consequences of my actions.

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